It has been 17 days since we lost Alias. It seems like forever ago. My DVD’s are sitting patiently on the entertainment center- next to the TV- each box leaning on the other. I stare at them as I turn on the TV to watch 30 Minute Meals with Rachael Ray or American Justice on A&E. I think about them when I am nestled in bed for the night- making a mental list of my favorite moments. I dust them off when company comes, but for the most part, they sit there, untouched- existing in a world of cardboard and paper.
When are you going to watch them, you ask? I will watch them when the sting goes away, when I stop rehashing the finale in my head, trying to make sense of it all. I will watch them when I can’t bare the thought of living without seeing Vaughn’s furrowed brow and Sydney’s dimples. I will watch them when I can’t remember what Jack’s voice sounds like or Will’s laugh. It will be a rainy Sunday, no doubt, drops of sky patting the windows in the front room. The house will be quiet- the cat blinking slowly, the dog dreaming about long runs. I will pour myself a shot of tequila (for the elephant in the room) and I will watch Alias all over again. It could be this Sunday, or the next, or maybe a rainy Sunday a year from now. Either way, the DVD’s will still be there, leaning on each other (as I do on all of you), waiting.